Holden Turns “Free”: A Mom’s Letter

Dearest Holden, 8fcdd1d49c6a71baeacc6c2641d19c30

Last week you had your birthday.

You turned three.

It is a surreal feeling to feel like time has gone by so fast yet it seems like you have been here forever. Wasn’t it yesterday that Mommy and Daddy sat traumatized in a hospital room staring at the most beautiful baby ever?

With wide eyes we wondered what in the world had just happened, and finally we understood why Fathers used to just sit in the waiting room until the whole shabang was over.

I am still amazed by you, and sometimes, if I am honest, we still have some horrifying moments. Like when you decided to change your own diaper and got its contents all over your bed, but I digress.

You, my son, are my initiation into the world of boys.

You are all that is energy, rough and tumble, kind and sweet, fast and slow, soft and loud, inquisitive and impulsive. The way your little mind works is so fascinating. You can figure out how to put things together, how to put sentences together, by sound you can recognize and name different motorized vehicles, how to destroy and create, without me ever sitting down and showing you. You observe and listen to everything. A wonderful trait that has taken us to some interesting places, my current favorite is your newfound vocal interest in body parts.

“Mommy what is this?” You ask a million times a day. And when it comes to body parts, I admit that sometimes I have no idea what to say.

Do I tell a three year old the correct anatomical terms?

I try to do my best, but I never know if I explained things correctly. Like the day, after you asked me about a million times, we discussed why Mommy’s chest was different than yours. And later that day, while we were at Target, you decided to grab your Momma’s chest and loudly declare to the general public that Mommy’s chest was for milk and was a baby’s “ba-ba”.

How about your constant need to have your pants off and repeatedly telling me about your boy parts? What is one supposed to do when their son takes a marker and colors his entire manhood purple? Yes, you did that. COLORED EVERYTHING.

And it is very important that Mommy knows about all your bodily functions. “Mommy I toot.” “Mommy I pee!” My favorite is after you use the public restroom, you emerge from the stall triumphant, throw your hands up in the air, and announce to the world “I PEE!!!!” multiple times.

I treasure all these conversations, even the embarrassing ones, because one day you will be a grown man… and boy do I look forward to teasing you.

So today you are three and tomorrow, or a lifetime from now, you will be thirty, and I will treasure every moment because I treasure you: my brutally honest, perfectly innocent three year old boy.




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