The Tiny Thief

There is a tiny thief in my house.

He is 11 months old.

He is quick.

He is feisty.

And he will hide yo’ stuff.

Today I was trying to make a doctor’s appointment. Holden was singing (yelling) in the background and joyfully throwing the football against the floor repeatedly. All was well despite having to strain to hear the nice lady on the

Kids-loud-on-phone-funny-parenting-ecardother end of the phone.

She proceeded to ask me for my new insurance card. And that would not be a big deal… except that when I went to bend down and grab my wallet out of my purse aka diaper bag… it was missing. Frantically, I tried to search for that dang wallet. I felt so stupid for calling before I had that dang card in hand. Phone calls are precious things in Mom world, as is being productive, and I needed to get this dang appointment made. I tried to answer other questions for her so that I wouldn’t be wasting her time, but between searching for the wallet and Holden yelling… I wasn’t doing a very good job. Finally, I had to concede defeat. I told her I would call her back and then proceeded to tear apart my house looking for that wallet.

Now I am known to be forgetful so losing things is not new to me, but Taylor had just put my card in my wallet the night before so I knew it was there. Naturally, I called Taylor with an accusing tone and asked him where my wallet was. He had put it back in my diaper bag. Taylor never loses anything. Fine. Great. Dandy.

I thought I was going to lose my mind.

I looked in every pillow, crevice, and blanket knowing that Holden had to have taken off with it. I had already thrown in the towel this morning when I couldn’t find his bottle, but I refused to give up on this wallet. I refused to give up on being productive and making that dang appointment.Frantic-Checking

And then I remembered.

Holden has this new fascination with throwing EVERYTHING in the toilet. When I lost my shoe yesterday, I found it in the toilet along with a bottle and a onesie.

With a sinking feeling in my gut, I check the toilets. Not there. Good. There is one last place that Holden has been putting things recently.

The trash can.

I open up the trash lid and lo and behold what do I find? Two pairs of sandals, a shirt, a onesie, a flour sifter, and MY 10517497_10152166522250824_8614683437792491522_nWALLET. Thank goodness I caught that before the trash got taken out. The picture on the right is of Holden and his loot from the trash can.

After this event, I watched his process of throwing away shoes and clothes. He does it when he doesn’t think I am looking. He walks right over to that trash can, and I watch this tiny little person heave.. with all his might… any object he can find… into that trash can. He is so pleased with himself for managing to get things into the trash can. And randomly when, for whatever reason, he decides enough stuff is in the trash… he moves on to a new activity.

I seriously don’t get it. I had tried to teach Holden how to put clothes INTO the drawers, and for some reason, he came up with taking things OUT of drawers and throwing things into the toilet and trash can.

Sometimes I will catch him in the act. He will be standing next to the toilet holding up his bottle when I see him. I yell “Holden.. NO!” He looks at me… smiles… and as soon as he sees me run toward him… he turns as quickly as he can and throws his bottle into the toilet.


This has happened numerous times. I try to keep doors shut, but that doesn’t always work. I may need to invest in a new trash can and toilet locks.

The other thing he loves to do is wrap himself like a mummy in the toilet paper, and then throw the rest of the toilet paper in the toilet. Toilet paper is not cheap people! Not to mention my nice makeup that does not do well sitting in toilet water…

This is the image that pops in my head when thinking of Holden and his destructive exploits:


Here is to hoping that his fascination with the bathroom and the toilet will lead to early potty training. And maybe eventually I will turn his throwing everything away into a productive activity. Hopefully. Prayerfully. Ugh.

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