#MomProblems

The #Hashtag is an interesting component to social media. As a very long winded person I have trouble with the hashtag. The fact that it is supposed to be succinct really throws me for a loop. My friends and I use them mostly as jokes when describing things… especially pertaining to circumstances caused by our position as mothers. This post is in honor of my friend Hannah… and all the mothers out there that feel our pain. Without further adieu… I give you:

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When you have to go to the bathroom really bad, but your baby is nursing, and it is the only way he will stop crying… and you still have PTSD from birth so the idea of just laying your baby down while he is crying is equivalent to ripping your heart out of your chest… so you take little baby to the restroom with you… still nursing. #ShamelessMomProblems

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When you have finally gotten your baby to fall asleep in the crib… closed the door… given your husband the smug look of success… and suddenly realize you left your cell phone in your baby’s room. #HowTheMightyHaveFallenMomProblems

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When you swore up, down, and all around you would never do something when you became a parent… and now that you are a parent you totally do it. #MomProblems

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When you get a beautiful bookcase and spend hours tediously organizing said bookcase so that you can find any book you want based on genre of book… only to have your baby slowly take down one book at a time… ripping covers… drooling on pages… until the bottom two shelves are empty and what once was a beautiful, organized, five shelf bookcase is now a three shelf bookcase of disorder and chaos… filled with books who were once beautiful, but now bear the abuse of your child. #nerdymomproblems

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When you can’t take a shower… or go anywhere alone… without hearing the phantom cries of your baby. #PsychoMomProblems

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When you hear your baby sneezing… walk into the kitchen where the noise originated… and find your baby sitting in a pile of pepper with the empty pepper container next to it. #SneezingMomProblems

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When there is silence so you hunt down your baby only to find him covered in the grease from the can of grease you use to drain the drippings of former meals. #FrustratedMomProblems

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When your baby decides that he loves the uncooked quinoa you stupidly put on a lower shelf before baby was mobile… and he dumps it everywhere.. and a month later you still find quinoa in your house. #MomGivesUpProblems

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When you don’t have a stroller or a cart and need to use a public restroom, but are carrying your baby and would die before said baby touches that floor… so you make it work. #DesperateMomProblems

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When you go to change your baby in the store restroom, and you get the diaper off the baby… but you drop something and right as you reach down to get it… foolishly doing so while baby is naked… your baby starts to pee EVERYWHERE. There is pee all over the restroom… it is all over you… it is all over your baby. #FlusteredMomProblems

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When your child has a rash so you let said child run free of diapers or clothing in order to get rid of it. And while child is free you suddenly hear your husband say your name… then he yells your name… and you look over at your child to see him straining with his best poop face… and you hope it isn’t true… until you see your husband pick child up with feces all over baby’s leg… still pouring out of baby onto newly cleaned coffee table… and as a cherry on top… on your way to the bathtub baby grabs himself. #DisgustedMomProblems

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When you have things to do… like use the restroom or eat… but your baby has fallen asleep on you so you don’t dare move for the next hour and a half so baby can get a good nap. #MomProblems

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When you have had a rough day and your baby is crying so you lay down on the floor next to your baby and cry too. #TiredMomProblems

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When you make the most ridiculous noises to ever grace your mouth… just to get a spoonful of food into your baby’s mouth. #ThatIsNotTheSoundAirplanesMakeMomProblems

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When you swore you were adopting while in childbirth and refused to watch any show dealing with childbirth for months… but one day see a brand new baby… and suddenly all you remember is giggles, kisses, smiles, and amazing firsts… and everything else disappears. #LoveBeingAMom #It’sNotAProblem

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Love Doesn’t Keep Score

SO I am back from my month off of writing! I have so many stories to tell! I thought for my first blog post after my break I would write a little about my husband Taylor.

When I was first married, I wrote a blog about our first year of marriage together. It was kind of hilarious to learn about men and how different they are from women. Taylor continues to make me smile with the things he says.

Taylor on having girls from here on out now that he has a son:

T: Sure that would be great, but it would just mean I only have one shot at real sports.

S: Girls play sports!

T: (Blank Stare)

Taylor on hair: 

I refuse to have a haircut that requires me to brush my hair… ever.

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Taylor on fairytales: 

T: Girls who believe in them are dumb.

S: I didn’t believe in fairytales until I married you.

T: Oh gag me.

T: Most girls who chase some romantic fairytale don’t have a happy ending because they are not being realistic… and if there is no happy ending… I wouldn’t call that a fairytale.

Taylor on assuming I know about the basketball playoffs: 

He is on the computer so I sit down and change the channel.

T: Wait no! It’s basketball.

S: And?

T: (Blank stare)… It’s playoffs.

Taylor on how much he loves me:

S: How much do you love me?

T: A lot.

S: How much is a lot?

T: It is a lot. The word is self explanatory.

S: No. Use a description.

T: Very much?

S: An example.

T: I love you more than football.

S: What if I told you I didn’t want you to watch football anymore?

T: I would laugh.

S: But I thought you said you love me more than football?

T: I do. But you are not leaving if I don’t stop watching football so your question is irrelevant.

Taylor on how much I love him: 

S: Do you know how much I love you?

T: Yes.

S: How much?

T: A lot.

S: Oh for heaven’s sakes… ok yes… but do you really understand how much I love you?

T: Yes. Yes I do… Because unlike you I understand the definition of a lot.

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Oh my sweet husband… how I love thee. 

On the kind of man Taylor is: 

I had a rough day the other day. Taylor came home to me in tears, the laundry not done (aka EVERYWHERE), the house not clean, and the baby in need of attention. After surveying the scene and listening to my rant and tears, he just gave me a hug and told me to get dressed. He was going to take me and the boy out for dinner, ice cream, and a Target trip… all of my favorite things.

As we drove over to the restaurant I pondered how lucky I was to have such a wonderful husband. Taylor works full time, and he is in a graduate program doing double the coursework in order to finish earlier. He always spends time with Holden and I. He will help me with anything, often without me even asking. He has no problem helping me with housework even though it is my job since he is working, and I am at home, but when I say something he just tells me it is his house and his baby too so he can help.

So on this day Taylor spent all day working only to come home to a messy house and an upset wife… and his first reaction was to take me to my favorite places? Who is this man and how on earth did I score him? I promise you people I cannot even make this stuff up.

Anyways, as we are walking up to the restaurant I tell Taylor how he is so awesome, and he does all these things for me, and I feel like I am not always keeping up my end of the bargain. I feel like he is doing way more than me in this marriage, and I feel bad.

Taylor just listened to me for a bit, shifted Holden to his other shoulder, and nonchalantly tells me, ” It’s ok. Don’t you remember? Love doesn’t keep score.”

And then my heart burst into a million pieces. I am sure Taylor will never realize the full impact this moment had upon me… but I promise you this… I will never forget that moment. Me, as a young mom, being loved on by my husband of few words.

And I will never stop telling him EXACTLY how much I love him… because it is definitely more than “a lot”.

 

But of course, it wouldn’t be a Taylor story if it ended just there. 

After a minute I replied, “Well if we were keeping score, you would definitely be beating me.”

To which Taylor responded with a smile:

“Oh that’s ok… I am used to always winning.”

 

 

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